Muscles

Muscles, screen print on fabric, quilting and embroidery, 2020

“INTERVIEWER:

So your parents did not take it super well.

RAE:

Noooo. No No No. I mean, my dad comes from a very conservative family, very conservative place.  And my mom comes from a very ignorant, small place, which is almost one and the same. And uh, I feel like my dad- he was like, ‘you know, just be…’ or no it was…’I don’t agree with it but I still love you.’ It was a very, very brief conversation. I was crying my eyes out and I had to pull him away from the TV like, ‘talk to me on the back patio.’ 

And uh, my mom was much more dramatic. She was crying her eyes out and blaming herself. I’ll never forget she said, ‘did I hug you too much?’ Which is just so fucking crazy to me. 

INTERVIEWER:

Mhmm. 

RAE:

So, I think my dad came from a place of like, anything that’s almost kind of religious based like, ‘it’s not godly.’ And my mom’s place was, ‘what the fuck, that’s weird? I’ve never heard gay shit?’ Like, you know what I mean?

INTERVIEWER:

Mhmm, it was really out of her schema. 

RAE:

Mhmm. I remember one time I came home with a hickey on my neck and uh, she was so mad at me. Like I feel like, very rarely I’ve seen this look on my mom’s face of just… it was like anger, disappointment, shame, and she was like, ‘everybody doesn’t have to know.’ Like, something like that you know? 

I never came out to my brother.”